• 1. They’re not parasites. They just hold on.

    A giant staghorn fern growing wild on a tree trunk in Sarawak

    This one is wild. Borneo, 1876. The tree is fine. (Marianne North, Stagshorn Fern and the Young Rajah of Sarawak, Kew)

    A staghorn grows on a tree but takes nothing from it. No soil, no roots in the ground. It makes its own food.

  • 2. The ugly brown part feeds the whole plant.

    Colour plate of a broad lobed shield frond of Platycerium grande

    That big flat one. It turns brown. (E.J. Lowe, Ferns: British and Exotic, vol. 7, pl. LXIV, 1859)

    Those flat brown leaves are dead. They die a few weeks after they finish growing. Then they keep working. They catch water and falling leaves and turn it into food. Never cut them off.

  • 3. People spent 400 years hunting for the fern flower. Ferns don’t flower.

    Colour plate of Platycerium alcicorne, its forked frond tips loaded with brown spore mass

    This is what it has instead. Brown dust. (Lowe, Ferns: British and Exotic, vol. 7, pl. LXIII)

    The legend says it blooms one night a year, and whoever finds it gets happiness forever. Nobody ever found it. Shakespeare wrote about magic fern seeds too. Ferns don’t have seeds either.

  • 4. Here’s what everybody missed. It’s heart-shaped.

    Figure 211, two prothallia of a fern, showing the heart-shaped gametophyte

    About three millimeters across. Nobody plants this on purpose. (Bergen & Eastwood, Foundations of Botany, 1901 — drawn from Aspidium, not a staghorn, but this is the stage.)

    Ferns grow from spores. But a spore doesn’t turn into a fern. It turns into a totally different little plant first, and that thing just sits there doing its own thing for a while. Then the fern shows up. The in-between plant is shaped like a heart.

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  • 5. No two look alike. The shape is just a record of where the light was.

    Colour plate of Platycerium stemaria showing a broad wedge-shaped frond

    Different plant. Different shape. (Lowe, Ferns: British and Exotic, vol. 7, pl. LXII)

    They grow into whatever light and space they get. You can’t plan it.

  • 6. It grows into the board. Then it makes more of itself.

    Wood engraving of a staghorn fern mounted on a cut log

    A staghorn eating a log. Engraved from a photo in 1859. (Lowe, Ferns: British and Exotic, vol. 7, p. 159)

    Eventually the plant covers up the thing holding it on. Then it starts making copies until there’s a whole cluster. Not every kind does this. The common kind does. They live for decades. People pass them down to their kids.

CORRECTION — Aug 5, 2017: An earlier version of this post was posted too early.